


in between the clear and the clutter

by Tetrahydride



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Background Character Death, Canon Compliant, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Mentioned TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), One Shot, but mostly hurt with some comfort if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29796261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tetrahydride/pseuds/Tetrahydride
Summary: One night, anger burning deep in his chest, Technoblade destroys a carved-out room beneath his home.One piece of yellow concrete is all that remains.
Relationships: Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 6





	in between the clear and the clutter

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the song "Clarity" by Early Eyes!

At long last, Technoblade can make out the figure of his cabin in the distance, a bright contrast against the seemingly never-ending field of white. The journey back home had felt longer, somehow, without Tommy by his side, without the young boy constantly cracking jokes and rambling about whatever came to mind. Techno had even almost turned to check if Tommy was still behind him before he quickly caught himself, tightening his grip on his trident when it happened not once, but twice on the long trek across the realm.

When he approaches the cabin at last, Phil is outside to greet him, starting with the usual “Hey mate,” before his gaze turns to the empty tundra behind them, to the single set of footsteps in the snow. “Wait, where’s Tommy?” he asks, noting the way Techno tenses at the question.

“He’s… he’s gone, Phil. He’s not coming back. Tommy betrayed me.”

Phil looks down to the snow beneath them at that response. Techno can feel the anger rising up within his chest, threatening to burst straight through his lungs. Before he knows it, he’s ranting to Phil. “I was willing to take down, like, twenty guys for him, Phil. We had a way out. It didn’t have to be this way, why couldn’t he just trust me-“

Phil cuts him off with a gentle hand on his shoulder, interrupting the other man's anger for just a moment, and the two silently move into the lower level of the house. Techno can’t help but glare at the ground below, knowing what lies beneath. “Y’know what,” he states, quickly grabbing some TNT from his ender chest and descending into the hollowed-out basement below.

Phil watches him from above as Technoblade places several pieces of TNT, his movements brisk and unthinking as he sets out to destroy what’s left to remind him of the younger boy who’d chosen the “friend” who’d exiled him, who chose a government over his best friend, even though Techno had helped him, had thought he was coming around, had seen him have a breakdown in that dreary blackstone room-

Before he knows it, the borderline revolting yellow walls give way to grey stone, and the little room is all but blown to pieces. Techno takes a deep breath, hearing Phil laugh above him as he realizes that Techno’s decision almost destroyed one of his villagers’ workstations. 

As he works to repair the damage, Techno realizes that the bright, burning anger in his chest has died out, leaving him hollow.

###### 

That night, Techno and Phil, with the help of Dream at one point, begin to plan out their final revenge. Between the three of them, they know that New L’manberg doesn’t stand a chance, and the voices practically scream with delight at the idea of the bloodshed and chaos to ensue. Techno, of course, is excited as well, but it somehow feels a bit misplaced- like he wants to be enthusiastic, but no matter how much he wills it, he can’t quite seem to actually feel it. But regardless, the plans are in motion, the date has already been set, and soon Phil retires for the night, leaving Techno alone and restless.

He finds himself descending down into the basement, passing by several resting villagers as he heads to uncover the cavern he’d created earlier. Jumping down into the depths, torch in hand, Technoblade descends into the crater, taking in his surroundings. There’s nothing here that’s salvageable, he should’ve at least taken a good look around and collected what he could’ve before he had blown the place up, why did he have to be so reckless and-

Something yellow catches his eye, and he turns, moving his torch up to meet it. A small patch of bright yellow concrete meets him, stares him in the face, unwavering. Technoblade sucks in a breath, staring down the blatant, obnoxious reminder of the kid he’d allowed to worm his way into his heart, and even the voices seem to be conflicted, discussing the boy in a quiet murmur.

He stays there for a while, until his torch light threatens to flicker out, and then he covers his tracks and slowly makes his way back upstairs, towards his room. But there’s a new figure sat on an armchair in the shadows, as if waiting for him, and Techno quickly realizes it’s Phil. The man simply nods at him, staying silent, and Techno takes his place at the armchair at the other end of the fireplace. They stay there for a few moments, a comfortable, understanding silence between them.

Techno is the first to break it. “I just... guess I don’t really know how to feel about what happened,” he begins. Phil simply nods in understanding.

“And the voices?” Phil asks.

“...They don’t seem to know either. They’re pretty split. Half want blood, as per usual, but the other half seem to feel almost... sad?”

Phil nods again, turning his head to meet Techno’s gaze properly. “How accustomed are you to grief?” the other man ponders.

And Techno... well, he really had never grieved much in his life, he supposed. His life was filled with battles and bloodshed, but it was never the blood of those he cared about that had been spilled. Hell, he didn’t even have people to care about until Phil, shortly followed by Wilbur (and he supposes, bitterly, Tommy). 

Was the first time he had ever grieved when Wilbur died?

Wait, was he seriously grieving the relationship he’d built with Tommy?

Phil’s gaze is steady as he watches Techno descend into his thoughts, clearly unsure of what the word “grief” even meant. It felt new and strange and unfamiliar to the piglin hybrid. Eventually, Phil clears his throat to stir Technoblade from his thoughts, and simply states what Techno had already pieced together for himself: “I think... you might be grieving the trust you created with Tommy.”

He hated that Phil was right, and he especially hated the way the voices hummed softly in agreement with that conclusion. But Techno supposes it makes sense- before he’d met Phil so long ago, there had never been anyone to trust before, anyone else to talk to unless he was engaged in combat with them. Trust, and conversely, betrayal, were such new concepts to him that they burned bright in his chest, leaving angry, deep scars behind once the flames died down. A small part of him wonders if those feelings are truly that of betrayal, or if he was using that word to mask the grief he’d been carrying since that fateful day in November.

Techno decides he’s had enough of this introspection bullshit and gets up, letting Phil know he’ll be back later. After all, half of the voices are still demanding blood, and if giving it to them had even the slightest chance of getting this miserable, heavy feeling out of his chest, then he’d gladly give them what they wanted.

The next day, the voices get exactly what they wanted and more. L’manberg is just a crater, wiped off the map. Technoblade stares at it for a moment, the fury in his chest settling down once again. He doesn't feel the satisfaction he so desperately craves as he stares at the bedrock below. He quickly remembers the piece that is sitting in his ender chest, accompanied by memories of loud laughter and genuine connection, and he turns away, that hollow, empty feeling taking the place of the memories once again.

###### 

Ranboo breaks the news to the two of them. The voices in Techno’s head had been suggesting that Tommy was dead for some time now- he had dismissed their rambling as hyperbole, knowing that they could often be gullible to simple rumors that spread like wildfire.

But once Ranboo confirms their worst fears, the voices go eerily silent, an unspoken _we told you so_.

Phil and Techno sit in silence by the fireplace after that, the setting eerily similar to when Techno first realized he was grieving the relationship with the boy. Eventually, they part ways, Phil remaining in the living room with Techno leaves. Whether it’s to take some pain out on monsters that roam the forest just beyond the cavern, or something else, Phil does not know. He doesn’t see the piglin hybrid for the rest of the day, and when he wakes from a restless sleep the next morning, Phil still can’t seem to track him down. So he begins to search the house, eventually finding a small hole in the floor of the basement where the villagers reside.

When he descends through the floor, he’s greeted to the sight of Technoblade slumped against a piece of yellow concrete.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated if you enjoyed <3  
> Feel free to check me out on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/blaze_empress) as well if you'd like!


End file.
